baby kisses.

The worst time of day for most babies is the two-three hours between the afternoon nap and bedtime. This just so happens to be the time of day when I get to see Jake for the longest stretch. If he's had a good afternoon nap, then he's usually alright. If not, then it's a tossup.

Today, he had a 45 minute afternoon nap. And it wasn't terrible...he's definitely had worse days, but it was a little trying on my patience.

We went through the routine. Dinner, bath, lotion (never fun), pajamas (also tends to be a fight), and bottle to wind down for bed. Sometimes, I multi-task while Jake has his bottle. Actually, a lot of times I get a little too wrapped up in my phone or something, and try to "multi-task." I'm working on that.

Well, when Jake decided he was done with his bottle, he tried to reach for my laptop. I started to get a teeny bit annoyed, and then I thought, What the heck am I doing? I am being ridiculous. So, I shut my laptop, scooped that little boy into a baby cradle in my arms, and started singing to him. 

I instantly felt his little body relax a bit and settle into my arms. And then, we just connected. I looked into his face, into his eyes, and he looked back and smiled at me. And then, I gave him little baby kisses right by his mouth and he giggled a perfect little giggle. And then I gave him baby kisses on his nose, on the other cheek, on his fingers reaching to grab my face, on the fingers he stuck in my mouth. All the while, he softly giggled and looked at me.

And then he started scratching my face and arching his back, so I put him in bed and he went to sleep.

But for those few minutes....we needed them. We needed that connection and those baby kisses and giggles and soul-searching gazes. We needed that mother-son time that somehow felt different from other time.

I'm learning this motherhood thing, even if I'm slow. 


Thanks for reading! I love reading your thoughts, too :)