too much: thoughts on blogging and social media.

*I feel that I should include a disclaimer. I'm not trying to sound critical or holier-than-thou in this post. These are my thoughts and feelings as they relate to ME and MY life, and it isn't my intent to belittle or criticize anyone else for their own habits and preferences. Some of you might have no clue what I'm talking about, and that's okay too.* 

Since taking myself out of the blogging rat race, if you will, I've come to some personal revelations.

It's just. too. much. There is too much competition. Too much guilt (I'm not sorry anymore when it has been over a week since I last posted). Too much materialism. Too much instant validation. Too many giveaways. Too many wants that are labeled as "Oh my gosh I need that." Too much obsession with outward beauty and not enough talk about inward beauty. Too much following the crowd, and not enough being your own person. Too much "involvement" with others' lives, and not enough presence in our own.

I'm guilty. So guilty. I've been caught up in it. Still am, in some ways. But I'm taking baby steps out.

Don't get me wrong, I think blogging can be a very good thing. But every good thing can also be bad if it's "too much." All things in moderation, right? I follow some blogs for ideas, some for inspiration, and some to just be able to relate to someone. I've "gotten to know" some really beautiful women, and deepen some real-life relationships. I've laughed out loud at stories, and wept silent tears for others.

So I've cut back. I read a blog if it falls under one of the above criteria. If it no longer does, then I stop reading it. I try to keep the number of people I follow on Instagram below 100. I read less than 50 blogs (is that still a lot?). Let's not even discuss Facebook, because that is a beast all its own.

Some of the very most popular "mommy blogs" are wearing on me. I'm tired of getting the message that I need to spend a lot of money in order to be a good mom. I'm not keen on spending $50 on an outfit my baby will just spit up on, or poop on, or both. And when he's a toddler, I fully anticipate that he will play in the dirt and mud and get holes in his jeans because that's what kids do. At least, the kids I remember. I don't remember what kind of clothes my mom wore, but she always loved me and encouraged me and put up with me. She was always there when I needed to talk. And I didn't care if I was crying into her shoulder covered in vintage silk (which it never was) or a cotton t-shirt from Target.

And I know Jake won't care either. He will remember the times I let him play in the dirt better than the clothes I put on him. He might also remember when I let him choose his own clothes, and how proud he was of his purple Batman t-shirt paired with his favorite striped swimsuit. He could also remember when I wasn't present because I was too involved in my screens. I don't want that. I also know TJ doesn't care if I'm wearing a $50 dress compared to a $20 one (actually he does, because that means I spent more money on it, but that's beside the point). All he asks is that I care about my appearance and feel good about myself. That's pretty darn sexy to him.

Jake will love me because I'm his mom, not because I was current on the latest trends. I hope he will look back at pictures of himself as a baby and not care that we walked to Wal-Mart in an average stroller dressed in average clothes and bought average things. I hope he will see that his mom cared about him and enjoyed spending time with him (even if she did huff and puff up that hill because she was out-of-shape from too infrequent walks). I hope he (and our future children) will remember being happy, and having a mom who was present and involved.

And that is good enough for me.

7 comments :

  1. I love this. Thanks for sharing Kylie. It's so true that with the way things are going these days, everyone is always trying to one-up each other. It's frustrating, and frankly - exhausting! Just write because you want to, when you want to! :) Your blog is one that I love being able to follow, because it's always wholesome and uplifting. I find myself losing interest quickly in the superficial ones.

    I also love what you said about being present in your own life. Thanks again!

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  2. A-friggin-men. I'm not even a mother and so bothered by some major (mostly mommy) and some smaller blogs. Hence I delete them from my reader and stop following them on IG. I agree with absolutely everything you say here. :)

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  3. This just needed to be said...I have found myself guilty in this too. I love blogging and feel a lot of the same way you do. I started mine just as more of a personal journal and a way to develop photo skills, but slowly I started to find myself getting sucked up into that "world" I Am learning to just take it back to what it was supposed to be ...a bit of fun. I hardly keep up with any of those popular mommy blogs as I start to make real relationships with other bloggers! For me this has been a big benefit since I was starting to get I to a very depressing point in my life when I felt friendless. You pretty much nailed this one on the head! Being ourself needs to be enough. And the most important things in life cannot be conveyed through a blog! Amen sister!! I enjoyed reading this! And glad to know I am not the only one starting to feel this way. I hope you keep blogging somewhat! And I might have to book a trip out to Flagstaff! Let our kiddos play and you can show me the ropes!! That would be a blast!

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  4. Kylie I love everything about this. And you are inspiring me to step away from my social media a bit too. I think that right now my biggest one is Instagram. I spend an embarrasingly ridiculous amount of time on there. Not necessarily posting my stuff but just following WAY too many other people. I definitely need to step away from social media a bit and focus on the more important things. And it really is so hard to read some of the blogs out there that just make you feel like the only way you can be a good enough mom, person, fashionista, etc. is to spend money. That's ridiculous! Anyway, I love this and thank you for being an inspiration to me! :]

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  5. Very well-said. I envy people who have a way with words, because I do not. :) It almost seems that everyone has a blog these days and it's all about getting followers and a bunch of stuff that is so not important in the long run. I'm so glad I've developed friendships with people like you instead of all of that junk. And yes, moderation in all things.

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  6. Woo! Sing it, sister!! It's so true that we can get caught up in all the social media that seems to center on our lives and families, but ends up pulling us away from them. Thank you for sharing your beautiful words and thoughts.

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  7. "Where ever you are, be all there." I love this. I've been trying to do better myself, especially with another baby on the way. I need to be more dedicated to my children rather than worry about having the best and being the best to others. I just need to be the best to MY kids. :)

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Thanks for reading! I love reading your thoughts, too :)