the future is bright.

I've hinted at it here and there, and only those very close to me could probably tell. Last year was a difficult one for us as a family. And while I don't feel comfortable sharing the nitty-gritty details, I'll be honest. Becoming parents was not an easy transition for us. Becoming parents while mom works full-time and dad goes to school full-time and other human problems arise and exist? Definitely difficult. I wouldn't recommend it, but somehow we survived. While I ultimately believe in God's timing, and I wouldn't trade my sweet Jake for anything, there were times when I questioned our decision to become parents when we did, for a number of reasons, not all relating to the arrival of our son:

Why would God provide me with a great job and a pregnancy at the same time?
Why would God allow us to go through ________ at a time like this?
Why can't we have an easy baby when we're already dealing with x, y, and z?

And even, on darker days:
God, are you there? Do you know me? Do you feel my pain?
And if so, then WHY?

That why is a tricky question. It's full of doubt, and doubt brings fear. But you know what? When you ask a question, God answers it. He doesn't always explain the why, but He gives you little bits of hope to fight back the fear and the darkness:

It will all work out.
It will all work out.
It will get better.
Yes, He is there. He does know me, better than I know me. He does feel my pain.
Why? I don't really know yet, but I will, someday. SOMEDAY.

It will. all. work. out.

Are we out of the woods? No. But the woods are thinning, and I can see the sunlight through the branches.