your biggest fan.

I'm your biggest fan.

I'll always think you're the cutest.
I'll hail you as an artist for your future scribbles.
I'll applaud at your smallest accomplishments.
I'll be at every game or event.
I'll think you're awesome (because seriously, you are).
I'll be there.

Because I'm your mom.
And I'm your biggest fan.

six months.

Dear Jake,

Happy half-birthday! Six whole months! I can hardly believe it....I think this month has been my favorite so far. Well, relatively speaking. Who am I kidding? Your life is my favorite.

Your doctor says you are doing so well. At your 6 month check-up: 19 lbs, 5 oz (80th percentile), and 92nd percentile for height. You're getting tall!

You've reached so many milestones:
-Eating solids: banana, sweet potato, avocado, pears (which you love!), oat cereal, pear juice, apples, and little bites of whatever we're eating
-Drinking water from mom and dad's cups and water bottles. You always grab for whatever we're drinking (which is almost always water)
-Sitting up all the time, and reaching for toys while sitting on the ground
-Rolling across the room
-Ticklish! Your tummy, thighs, back, and your feet (which have always been ticklish)
-Grabbing your toes (and trying to suck on them)
-LOVING your tongue, sticking it out all the time
-Smiling at everyone, flirting with girls
-A cute new smile where you crinkle your nose and give a big cheesy grin
-Saying, "Mamamamama" or "Dadadadadada" or "Nananananana," mostly when you're upset and/or hungry
-Teething: accompanied by irritability, clinging/neediness, and your first low-grade fever, chewing on everything, and drool
-Loving the jumper/play saucer thingy, keys (both plastic and metal), and anything you can put in your mouth
-Graduated to a new car seat! A big-boy car seat. I think you like sitting up more, but Dad and I love that it's so much easier to get you in and out of it.
-Your hair is long enough now that I can style it...I love making it into a crazy faux-hawk. Daddy did a wolverine-esque do the other night too. You look so cute! Your cousin Bryce says you look like Jack-Jack from the Incredibles, which is ironic because Uncle Sheldon has been calling you that since we told him your name (before you were born). He still refers to you as Jack-Jack in his letters.

And oh my! Your personality is showing so much more these days. You are a goofball. A total ham. You love being silly. You are also determined. Can't get your foot in your mouth? You will persist until you do. Can't reach a toy? You will roll to it or you will get mad. You are so interested in what goes on around you. You will let out a squawk if we aren't paying enough attention to you. You still love to "talk" in shrieks, coos (I call it your singing voice), and babbles. I think you're going to be a social one, like your dad. You have lungs and can still scream like no other child I've met before.

You are also so sweet. You still don't like to cuddle, but you do the sweetest things, especially with your dad. You will hold his face in your hands, and then put your face next to his and rub your cheeks on his jaw. You love to smile, and you smile so big when Dad or I enter the room. Your sense of adventure isn't lacking either; you love being tossed in the air in a number of ways by your father. I'm afraid you won't have a sense of fear whatsoever. You're going to be a handful, I am sure. A delightful handful.

We love you so much Jake.

love always,

And for comparison, months 1-6:

confessions of a working mom.

Confession: I don't remember the last time I had a girls' night.

I'm pretty sure the last one was before Jake was born. The last legit girls' night that is. You know, friends, dinner, talking and laughing. That sort of thing. I'm not counting the one hour of visiting teaching when I didn't bring Jake along (although it was very nice and I had fun visiting, don't get me wrong).

Confession: It's not that I haven't had opportunities.

I've been invited to a couple craft nights. Invited to go see a movie with a friend. But I just...didn't follow through. I made excuses for why I couldn't go (legit excuses, but excuses nonetheless).

Confession: It's really hard for me to have "me time."
Confession: As a working mom, I feel guilty leaving my husband and son.
Confession: Sometimes I've been jealous of my husband for being able to hang out with his friends. It's completely unfounded and completely ridiculous, but I can't deny that. TJ tries to get me out of the house and talking to women. He forces me out of my shell ;)
Confession: I struggle making new friends and feeling like I fit in. I've had the same best friend since preschool (like, we literally grew up two streets apart and then became college roommates, got married within 2 months of each other, lived in the same married housing, etc.) and then she moved 3 hours away. I have friends, but sometimes it's easier to just....stay home and watch a movie.

Now, I fully support and agree with girls' nights. I can totally see why they are important, especially as a mom. Just as date nights are important for couples, so are girls' nights important for a woman's own relationship with herself. At least, that's what I've heard.

Basically, I just feel guilty spending time away from *both* of my main men. Since I see so little of them, especially Jake, during the week, I drink in my time with them on the weekends. This article articulates so well what I feel as a working mom. I'd almost feel selfish spending time for myself, but I know I need to.

Confession: I have an inkling that I will still feel mom guilt, even when I'm not working full-time anymore.

we are a family.

There have been some moments lately, small tender little moments, when I have felt perfectly happy. Sometimes, perfect happiness is hard to come by...or I just don't take the time to stop and recognize it.

All of those moments have involved us, my little family.

There was one on Sunday, with TJ and I sitting on the couch. We heard Jake wake up from his nap, and so TJ got him and brought him to the living room, then sat him in between us, snuggled up close. And we sat like that for a few minutes before Jake got bored or hungry or something, but those few minutes were a little piece of heaven where we just were a family.

There are small moments, when Jake is tired and he will rest his head on my shoulder for a moment, and I eat that moment up like a delicious piece of chocolate, because those times are rare. And then Jake will do it to TJ, and I'm sure it feels the same way for him because we always tell each other when those moments happen.

There was another moment sometime last week, when I was standing in the kitchen, holding Jake, and TJ came up and wrapped his arms around the three of us and we stayed like that, our little family, until Jake got claustrophobic or something....but it was a perfectly happy little moment.

And there are times when I sit on the floor with him, and watch him play and discover his little world. How blissfully innocent and beautiful he is. And while he studies his toes, or his ball, or his burp rag...I study him. I notice how his hair sticks up, how round his cheeks are, how he sits with perfect posture, how he so carefully and determinedly reaches for a toy, how he smiles when he looks up at me watching him.

TJ and I are so totally in love with this little boy. And the best part? We know that he loves us back. He knows his mommy and daddy, because no one can comfort him like we can. No one can make him smile or giggle like we can. No one else gets him reaching out for them, or having their face patted. No one knows him like we do. And someday, in the hazy and distant future, I know that will change. I know I won't be his number one forever.

But for now, we are us. And it is so good.

He & I

I blog a lot about our family of three, usually focusing on Jake. This post was fun to do because it reminded me of TJ and I as a couple, from the very early days (because we've been together for ages, you know). A baby changes everything, but it doesn't change where we've been together. So, in honor of the month of love, here's a look at TJ + Kylie.


1. Who is your man?
Troy James (TJ)

2. How long have you been together?
Since we started dating: About 3.5 years (Holy cow!)

3. Dating/Engaged/Married?
Officially dating Sept. 5, 2009 // Engaged January 27, 2010 // Married May 15, 2010

4. How old is your man?

You or your man?

1. Who eats more?
Actually we're usually pretty close to the same, especially since I've been pregnant/breastfeeding.

2. Who said "I love you" first?
TJ, in my apartment, on the couch. I said, "Finally." And then "I love you too," of course.

3. Who weighs more?

4. Who sings better?
I've had more vocal training, but TJ is not a bad singer by any means.

5. Who's older?
TJ is older by a little more than 2 years.

6. Who's smarter?
I'm more book smart, but TJ is very people, business, and street-smart. I think we're pretty compatible.

7. Who's temper is worse?
Um....TJ's. But I can have one too, if provoked enough.

8. Who does the laundry?
We do it together, usually. Sometimes I do it more, sometimes he does it more.

9. Who does the dishes?
TJ does the dishes more often than I do.

10. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?
If we're laying down in bed, then TJ sleeps on the right side. No matter what bed we're in. It's been that way since our wedding night, I think.

11. Who's feet are bigger?

12. Who's hair is longer?

13. Who's better with the computer?
TJ is better with PCs, I'm better with Macs. Although, I think I know more about things like html than he does.

14. Who pays the bills?
TJ, usually. Though most of our bills are on auto-pay.

15. Who cooks dinner?
Usually, me. But ever since I got pregnant, TJ has learned his way around the kitchen a little better. He likes to grill for us a lot.

16. Who drives when you are together?
TJ usually does. He tends to get car-sick as a passenger and I'm content to look at the scenery and check on Jake frequently.

17. Who pays when you go out to dinner?
Usually TJ, but it doesn't really matter since we have joint accounts.

18. Who's the most stubborn?
We are both pretty stubborn, TJ is usually just more vocal about it.

19. Who is the first one to admit when they're wrong?
Usually I am, but there are times when TJ is the first to realize we're both being silly. I just hate having contention between us, and so even if I know I'm right, I'm usually the first to apologize for a fight.

20. Whose parents do you see more?
TJ's, because we live in the same city.

21. Who kissed who first?
TJ kissed me first. He was also my first kiss. The first time he wanted to kiss me, I kinda denied him because I was so nervous. He thought I didn't like him because of that, haha.

22. Who asked who out?
Technically TJ asked me on our first date, but I invited him to a few activities before that happened.

23. What did you do?
On our first date? We went out with another couple to the woods and cooked burgers (and I totally ate more than anyone else), then went and watched the boys play softball. We had to stop at TJ's house before the game, and his siblings asked, "Where's Kylie?" before they saw me. Then I knew he'd been talking about me around his family, and I felt kinda special.

24. Who's more sensitive?
I would say that I am more sensitive, but that's not to say that TJ is insensitive. Besides just being a woman, I'm naturally very sensitive. I cried when getting reprimanded in school, even if I didn't really do anything wrong.

25. Who's taller?
TJ. He's 5'10" and I'm about 5'7.5"

26. Who is more indecisive?
Totally me. Drives TJ crazy. I'm just very much a people-pleaser, and also weigh things out like crazy before making a decision. Ask him about the month between the time he told me he wanted to get married, and that I told him I wanted to marry him too.

27. Who has more siblings?
TJ. He has 3 brothers and 2 sisters. I have a brother and a sister.

28. Who wears the pants in the relationship?
Me! Just kidding. I think we're pretty good partners.

29. Who has the best husband ever?
Well of course, I do.

Thanks for the tag Joke! Now it's your turn: Emma and Chelsea and (cheating!) anyone who wants to play.