on having fun in marriage.

This post was inspired by a harmless incident really, but one that made me think. TJ and I have a friend who recently got engaged. She announced it on Facebook, and so, I congratulated her by writing on her wall something like: "Congratulations! We are so happy for you. Being married is a lot of fun!"

Well, a woman who I do not know but is a friend of this girl commented on my innocent posting saying something to the effect of: "I wouldn't describe marriage as being fun. It's a hard work, it's rewarding, but fun is not an adjective I would use."

Um....ok?

Rather than get into a long story about how she basically told me calling marriage "fun" would be misleading and hinted that perhaps I'm too young to really know what marriage is about, I'll just tell you all what I told her: "I am old enough to have gone through some very difficult things in my marriage. But my husband and I work to make it joyful and to remember to have fun. I wouldn't want [anyone] to think marriage can't be fun and have endless joy! She'll [referring to my friend] hear all about the difficulties of marriage from marriage classes and from people [much] more experienced than myself. But saying marriage isn't fun would, to me, be misleading as well. Of course it is much more and much deeper, but those things come with experience. And to be honest, when you're engaged, you [really] don't remember much marriage advice you're given." 

So yes, marriage is many things. It's probably one of the most difficult things anyone can do.

But honestly, it's a lot of fun. Heck, even my 86 year old grandpa who's been married to my grandma for 60 years still knows how to have fun in his marriage.
Sometimes, it takes some effort to make it fun. Sometimes it's just spontaneously fun.

Some of the things TJ and I do to have fun in our marriage:

-He honks and I wave at random passers-by.
-Uncontrollable full-bellied laughter...over whoknowswhat.
-Watching a TV show together (The Office) while eating those addictingbutreallybadforyou frozen taquitos.
-Making up little games to play in the grocery store. (Some of our favorites include: guess the total at checkout and have a pretend fight in the parking lot to see how many strange looks we can get.)
-Go on dates together. (Sometimes we invite our friends. Like last weekend when we took two of my best friends and their husbands to one of our favorite little hole-in-the-wall restaurants: Aloha Hawaiian Barbeque. I was so nervous they would hate it [like the kind of nervous when you want someone to watch your favorite movie] but they loved it! Two words: macaroni salad.)
-Spontaneously go out to eat on a random night.
-Travel together. We love road trips!
-Try new things together. Like that one time we rode the ski lift last summer. I call them adventures.
-Doing things the other person likes. Like when I tried wakeboarding and failed the first few times, but when I finally got up, TJ was so proud and I had so much fun! Or when TJ finally fell in love with reading so now we can be cool and read in bed together? Yeah.
-Being really weird together. We may or may not have our own nonsense language...TJ made it up. At least we entertain ourselves. Being ourselves. (That's probably the best part about marriage....you've finally found someone you can completely be yourself around...good and bad....and they still love you.)

In TJ's words, "We just have fun." And we don't plan to ever stop.

What a fun day that was ;)



7 comments :

  1. You guys are so cute! I love your idea of fighting outside a grocery store for a show. so funny!

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  2. So cute! We got sealed in the Mesa Temple also!

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  3. Well said. I hate when people critique other people's advice. Especially when they're wrong haha. You guys are cute:)

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  4. Psh. That lady didn't know what she was talking about.
    A marriage without fun? That wouldn't last.

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  5. I didn't know you were an arizonan!!!! And seriously, some people just take life too seriously. Marriage is fun. And it does take effort and it is a lot of work. It is all of those things together! which makes it so great! it wouldn't be so awesome if it were just fun all the time!

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Thanks for reading! I love reading your thoughts, too :)