on my mind.


I have a lot of things on my mind today, and I just want to put them somewhere. I just need to see them and sort them for myself.

I was a week late this month, and for one nerve-wracking and hopeful week, I thought I might be pregnant. I told myself not to get my hopes up, and I didn't for the most part. This sense of relief and disappointment is interesting. Not that it matters, we weren't trying to get pregnant. It's just one of those things that I would be happy if it had happened, but I'm okay it didn't.

I had an evaluation by my university supervisor today. It went really well and she had a lot of good things to say. When she asked if there was anything I was struggling with, I got emotional as I described that feeling of helplessness a teacher has, knowing how much some of her students are going through at home, and knowing that it's outside of your control. Her response was wise, "That's why it's good that they can come here. They can come to school and be safe in your classroom, where you can love them and be good to them. Some of them will be so touched by you, that they'll become teachers. Others will just be okay for now. Others may not be okay for a while, but later in life they will be. There are good people everywhere."

I've been in something of a funk lately. The kind of funk where I don't like myself very much. Nothing extreme, I'm just dissatisfied with a lot of things about me. The frustrating and helpful part is, I know what I can do to get out of it. So I've made up my mind to just do things to make me happy. And when I'm happy, then I can be my best self. Then, I can be the best help to my husband. It's truly the little things that matter the most.

Tell me this isn't just the hormones talking.

7 comments :

  1. This is such a sweet post Kylie. And I totally understand your feelings with the whole late period and hoping mixed with nerves. I have definitely experienced that one too many times already.

    Also, your supervisor is incredibly wise. I love what she said. But I also can't imagine how hard it would be to not be able to help these kids.

    You are amazing!! And maybe some crafts are in order to get out of the funk, eh? :]

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  2. Kyliebear...I understand every word of this post. It's not just the hormones talking!

    I hope you get out of your funk soon...you are truly amazing and you deserve to feel that way <3

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  3. Emma- Yes, I think crafts would help!

    Amy- Thanks for your sweet words :) You are amazing too!

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  4. I can totally relate to the whole mixed feelings about being late...

    Sorry to hear that you're in a funk. I am inspired though by how you can take such hard challenges and make the most of them.

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  5. I can relate too, Kylie. Thank you for always sharing your sincere thoughts, you are inspiring. She was right that you will touch those students' lives; you already have a way of reaching people's hearts.

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  6. Dear Kylie,

    I find it helpful to keep a list of things that recharge my battery and lift my spirits so that when I hit that funk, and I will, I have a bag of tricks at my disposal. It is good to have little quickie charges like a walk or an ice cream cone as well as big guns like Hawaiian vacations (funk can be tenacious.) Remind me to tell you about my fifth grade teacher Mrs. Kopang. She cared too much. I love you. Hugs, K.

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Thanks for reading! I love reading your thoughts, too :)