really.

I'm scared.
I'm scared that my efforts over the past three years will not be enough.
I'm afraid that I haven't put forth my best, that maybe I'm not cut out for this.
I'm scared I won't be a good teacher.

I've spent the last three years of my life learning what it takes to be a good teacher, and I'm afraid that I don't have it.
I've never felt more unprepared for this career than I do now, in my last semester before student teaching.
I'm to the point that I'm not sure it's really what I want to do.

I love children.
I love teaching.

I don't love lesson planning, assessment making and administering, grade-giving, standard-achieving, problem-managing, parent-pleasing, and who knows what else I'll encounter in a public school classroom.

I am grateful for the opportunity to get a college education.
I am grateful that I have been able to work hard towards this accomplishment.
I am  honored to have learned so much from so many great teachers.
I would never trade my experiences, because they've made me stronger, they've changed me.

I know whatever happens, and wherever the Lord directs my path, that it will end up being for the best.
I know that I'll be OK, and I'll be happiest if I follow my heart, and ask for the Lord's help.

Really.

2 comments :

  1. You will be an AWESOME teacher, whether it is in a classroom or in your home!! You can do this!! =)
    I love you! <3 <3 xoxoxoxo,
    MOM

    ReplyDelete
  2. I know, it's a scary time! But you are doing a fantastic job, and you are finishing your education! Just wait until you get into the classroom--confidence comes with experience. But keep that good attitude and faith! It's scary, but you know you can do it with God's help! You will be amazing! :):)

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for reading! I love reading your thoughts, too :)